Life sure is different these days. It’s no exaggeration that having kids completely changes every aspect of your life. While there are some things I certainly miss about the days before mom life began – like the freedom to do whatever at the drop of a hat – this incredible season of motherhood is my favorite.
I found myself thinking about those days before Roman, and came up with a list of things I’d tell my pre-mama self:
- Jump out of an airplane – more than once.
After baby, you’ll be terrified that unsafe choices you and your husband make will leave your child as an orphan. So, leap out of that airplane and enjoy free-fall. When you become a mom, you’ll be on constant alert of things that can be presumed “dangerous.” Just wait til you meet your toddler… - Don’t joke about not wanting..or even liking kids.
One day you’ll eat those words when the struggle to have them is all too real. - Your boobs are perfect.
That’s all I’ll say about that. - Sleep in. A lot. And take naps.
Everyone will tell you this when you’re pregnant. And you’ll smile and say, “I know, I know.” But, you have no idea how much you’ll treasure uninterrupted sleep – for as many hours as you want! The first couple of months of motherhood will nearly kill you with little-to-no sleep, but I promise, you’ll survive. And you’ll feel like you deserve a medal for it. - Stop doubting yourself.
You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for most days. When you become a mom, every doctor, family member, friend and grandmother at the grocery store will have advice for you. Take it in stride and thank them. But, at the end of the day, you’ll be the best mom your baby needs and your intuition is strong. Own that. - Be more supportive for your pregnant/new mom friends.
They need you more than you know, even when you can’t relate to what they’re going through. Check in on them often, and lift them up with a visit, by bringing food, or just by listening to them rant. They’ll appreciate it, and you’ll need the same from them later on. - Pray for your husband.
Focus more on building a firm foundation for your marriage built on your mutual love for Jesus. As expected, your marriage will change when baby arrives, and you will both have your struggles with learning how to parent – while simultaneously being a spouse. Don’t forget to check in on him and encourage him, too. - Work on your short fuse.
I know, I know. This is a tough one for you. It’s in your DNA. But, there’s nothing that will test your patience more than parenting. Get it together, girl. - Ask more questions at your OB/GYN appointments.
You are your own best doctor. Don’t settle for little details. Ask why you aren’t having regular periods. Ask what it means for your body and your future plans of having a family. Do your research and ask more questions. You will be better prepared for the journey ahead. - Learn how to slow down.
I get it. You’re in heads-down, career woman mode. You want to climb that ladder and get that promotion, while volunteering, working late nights, answering emails over the weekend and owning that to-do list. But, take a deep breath in and out every day. You’ll crave for time to stand still when you’re peering into tiny blue eyes and a sweet face that changes every single day. - Treasure your parents.
They have sacrificed tremendously for you. They have loved you fiercely when you’ve been a teenage terror and an ungrateful brat. One day, when you’re up all night with your baby, it will suddenly hit you just how much they’ve given you…and how endlessly they love you. - You think you love Starbucks and Target now. But, just wait.
Need I say more? - Sit down for every single meal – and savor every bite.
After baby, you’ll find yourself sometimes saying, “Oh crap! I forgot to eat.” For real. I know, you’re thinking, “there’s no way I’d ever forget to eat.” But, it’s true, friend. And when you do remember, you’ll find yourself standing at the kitchen island scarfing down scraps of toddler leftovers and calling it “dinner.” - You have so much more to uncover about your true self.
You will change in so many ways – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, when you become a mom. Think you know who you are and what you want in life now? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, sister. Keep your heart and eyes open for clues to where your path may lead along the way.I’m still new-ish to this whole mom gig, so I want to know: what would you add to this list? What’s one thing you’d tell your pre-mama self? Please share in the comments below.
Love this! I would add… be kind to yourself. There will be lots of days you have no idea what you’re doing, and that’s ok! With each new stage, and each new child, you’re learning to parent all over again because there’s always a new challenge and triumph. Be kind to yourself on the bad days, and celebrate the good days!
Love yourself, love your spouse, and love those babies, and know that tomorrow is always a new day!
You can’t pour from an empty cup- spiritually, emotionally, or physically. You matter, Mama! And those babies need you to take care of yourself. ❤️
And on that note- give yourself grace to have those bad days- and give it to other mamas too when they’re having theirs. Because we ALL will at one point leave a shopping cart full of groceries and walk out of the store with a screening toddler… maybe more than once. ?
Love this, Claire! I couldn’t have said it any better. I am 100% on board with the idea that you can’t pour from an empty cup. It breaks my heart to see so many moms put themselves at the bottom of their priority lists. And such a good point about the fact that you learn to parent all over again with each child. I need to remember that…and give myself grace when baby #2 arrives! Great tips, mama!
Always tell your children and all your family that you love them every time that you see them or communicate in any way. When they are old enough to understand explain that your love for them is unconditional. There will be times that you will not like things they did or choices they made but that will never change your love for them.
Soo good, grandma! Love these…and love you! You’ve been such a shining example of unconditional love for our entire family.